Sunday, May 3, 2020

THE PYRES OF OUR BELIEFS: COVID AND LONELY FUNERALS


The unfathomable coronavirus attack is turning the world upside down! Yet we need to survive – we need to keep reinventing our idea of life and continue to rediscover ourselves.
Predictably, everybody has own unique feelings about the situation - fear of catching the virus, anxiety over the unknown, concern the food supply will run out, fear of the consequences to the economy and employment, frustration at wanting to help others and not being able, boredom, and irritability. 
Apart from thoughts like above, at several occasions during this lockdown, I have found myself asking - will we gain something from CoVID experience? 
An absurd reality – life is not about collecting people for funeral
During this lockdown, we heard how Nepalis in America have died lonely, in hospitals and houses, with not even close family and friends willing to perform or attend their funeral. The body of a migrant who died from coronavirus in Dubai was kept in a morgue in case a friend came by for a last goodbye. After a week, no one had appeared. In silence, four people at the morgue, wrapped the body in a plastic bag and took to a furnace where it was reduced to ashes. Just last week, two stupendous Indian actors, Irrfan Khan and Rishi Kapoor, died – not due to CoVID though. They had the stature to attract a large funeral procession. Yet, it didn’t happen.
Perhaps they didn’t need it! May be none of us need it!
All their life, many people are addictive of the idea that the presence of people at their funeral will tell who they have been in life. In their attempt to collect as many people for their funeral, they cease to live their lives. They inadvertently become people-pleaser. People-pleasers without boundaries and they simply turn into doormat without personality. They are so nice to everyone because they believe that everyone would be nice to them if they are nice to others. There’s an expected outcome for being nice! 
I have seen people faking grief at funerals. I have come across people who shed crocodile tears. What Irrfan Khan and Rishi Kapoor’s funerals and many funerals of those who died of Covid have taught us is that we don't need to collect numbers for funerals. We just need to be humans, have empathy for life of others, live life on own terms and be ourselves. 
The moral of the story is don’t simply live to collect people for your funeral. Don’t simply go out of way to become people-pleaser.
Whatever we do, the matter of fact remains -
लास जलिसकेपछी मलामिले खरानिको वास्ता गर्दैन, निको भएपछि घाउले मल्हमको वास्ता गर्दैन!

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