MY JOURNEY TO ‘MAMAGHAR’ IN KATHMANDU

My admiration for a sweet new blossom of humanity….

This autobiography of my nephew, Arjun, who is just two and half months today.  

25 November 2013

I was very excited when I heard my mom and dad plan for the trip to my mamaghar in Kathmandu. Now to term it as mere ‘excitement’ is a little understatement because I didn’t sleep that whole night. I slept around 4 in the morning but after a couple of hours my mom woke me up – it was probably an early morning flight to Kathmandu and we had to leave home by 6am. On our way to the airport, I could see my mom’s sleep-deprived sore eyes. But, my sweet mom as ever cuddled and adored me and her eyes were beaming from certain unrestrained joy – giving me the feeling that she forgot she had not slept that night.

Then, started my first and long ride in an aeroplane. The moment I entered the plane, my eyeballs grew wider in anticipation of what the inside of an aircraft looked like. For the first half an hour, I indulged in my excitement of seeing altogether a different space with so many people in it but then I could not keep it at the same level any longer. The next moment, my mom and dad cramped themselves into their seats and I was confined to my mom’s lap. All through the flight duration, she tired best to deal with my changing moods and whims and with frequent trips to baby’s room to feed me.  

 

Finally, we landed in Kathmandu airport but I was still not sure that we had flown over nearly 1062 miles. I wondered how my mom and dad melted that vast distance with their bonding and in doing so they cemented two different families and cultures. At the airport, we were received by my grandparents and Thulo Buwa. A strange emotion covered my mom’s face and when she looked at me to introduce to my grandparents, I told her in silence that  “each brush of breeze that touched my skin at that moment were telling me I belonged to Kathmandu as much as it belonged to you mom”. I looked at my dad at that very moment to see a big smile shine on his face and a prideful gesture of coming back to a place which he had begun to love so much!

SIX YARDS SAREE– AN ENCHILADA OF WONDER, APPEAL AND GLAMOUR

             'Saree'

              the poise and grace of a woman,

              a six yards wonder to add to elegance, feminity and sensuality 

              the most beautiful attire, a timeless fashion!

For me saree is an exquisite piece of magic that flatters a woman’s look and makes her feel glamorous. Time and again you may flirt with other eastern and western garments but a saree’s ability to play off feminity with mystery and elegance cannot be compared to any other garments. Drape any woman in a saree and you change her persona. One may not have a body for a gown or a trouser, but I think every woman looks most elegant in a saree. It completely adapts to your body form and reflects your individuality. A saree exudes distinct elegance and charm complimenting every woman that adorns it. It is stylish and sexy and in fact could become the best tease for your body – covering just the right amount of flesh and leaving rest to one’s imagination.

Saree has always been my all-time fashionista favourite – I regularly wear it to workplace, parties and festive occasions. The more comfortably I drape saree around me, the more I get enticed by the grace, elegance and feminity it casts on me. Often times I feel I could have been born in a saree – I am most comfortable in this one-piece unzipped and unstitched garment and I can carry it off calmly all through the day. The reflection of grace and poise apart, I feel saree also subliminally announces my calmness and self-control.

Lucknowi Chicken, Batik prints and Kerala Kausuvo

South India raw silks and Nepali Dhaka prints

 

Kanjeevaram and printed Tussar silks

Sarees adorn my wardrobes like no other apparels. My wardrobe is a showcase of weaves and textile heritage collected from across India (see pictures above). I have also treasured a few handloom Nepali Dhaka sarees from Palpa and Terhathum but I am yet to collect a piece of Haku Patasi. I feel like I am on a personal fashion mission to collect sarees simply for the love of varied textures, fine weaves, striking hues and intricate motifs. I have only begun and it has already been a fascinating exercise! My favourite picks mostly consist of cotton and Pattu (silk) sarees. I am often times intrigued and fascinated by the versatility of textures and colour combination a saree offers – this reason why my wardrobe boasts of varieties of sarees you could imagine! My collection comprises of crisp cotton sarees, flowing chiffons and georgettes, zari synthetics and silk sarees.

I am also a conscious style purist and like collecting traditional heritage textiles and fabrics that represent different regions of India. My major selections come from West Bengal, South India (Tamil Nadu and Karnataka), Rajasthan and Kerala. When talking about patterns, my all-time favourite cotton sarees are Jamdani and Dhaka geometric thread-work pattern from Bengal and on silks, I guess nothing can ever beat gold-bordered Kanjeevaram, vibrant-colored Mysore printed silk and see-through Chanderi silk sarees. Lucknowi chicken and jagged temple patterns from Orrissa are lovely too!

If this post has aroused much of your interest in sarees, I now leave it to you to explore more – about fabrics, textures, weaves and patterns, colors and draping styles!

“KUNDALINI” - THE SNAKE INSIDE YOU

"Without the inner world the outer loses its meaning, and without the outer the inner loses its substance."   R.D. Laing

 

Today – the day of Nag Panchami, we worship snakes. Serpents and snakes are expressions of good and evil that we find in our history, religion and culture. As snakes shed their skin through sloughing, they are symbols of rebirth, transformation, immortality, and healing. Their venom, on contrary, is connected with poison vengefulness and vindictiveness. These expressions and the galore of Nag or male serpents apart, have you heard of the power of female serpents – the Kundalini?

 

Mythology explains Kundalini as a serpent goddess who lies asleep and dormant at the base of the spine. Her name is Kundalini Shakti, and she represents the unfolding of the divine energy, the energising potential of life itself, a living goddess who enlivens all things.

 

“Awakening Kundalini” is often described in Yoga and Meditation as an energy releasing process that triggers the natural power to free oneself from personal conditioning. It is a clearing process that is designed to enable an open, clear and compassionate perspective of life and death, and to feel the essential bliss and connectedness of all things. It helps one to release self-judgment, which is an important prerequisite to know who or what you really are. It is not about becoming saintly but about becoming present, relaxed and in tune with the earth and the natural potential of living in harmony with ourselves and others.

 

What is the purpose of Kundalini?

The capacity for "choice" is what life is all about. Depending on how one navigates the awakening, this determines whether the ultimate outcome is more creative or destructive. Usually it's a mixture of both for the birth of the new requires the death of the old. It’s just like you are clearing out your stuffed house, cleaning it all creating a new inside of it!

 

Our true nature has no judgment and no resistance to life. Waking up is not an abandonment of life as it is, but an expansion, so that consciousness sees the inner-connectedness, the oneness, underneath all the diversity of expression in the world. Without judgment there is still a responsiveness, a deep feeling can move through related to compassion for the suffering in the human condition, and action can emerge spontaneously, the form having great variations among different people. Great laughter and joy can arise in seeing clearing how we have missed the truth for so many years, and ignored the clear evidence of our own eternal consciousness. Even in the joy we can still feel strong compassion for the confusion that all humanity shares.

RENDEZVOUS WITH NATURE

I was standing right at the edge of an expansive Pacific beach that embraced me with its tendril creamy waves but far to its other end the same wave appeared like coughing out, in a rhythm, lumps of white gunpowder over its own udder. I stretched arms and cuddled my own body and sat down on the surface of glistening rough sand. I began devouring a majestic sight in front of me – a sight that was always in my dreams and imagination. The close-up horizon displayed a spectacular scene of earth, sea and sky and it was all so overwhelming in sight, smell, and sound.

 

As the scorching sun tossed billows of brackish sea waters and the gusty wind churned rolling waves, the surrounding got more nostalgic and it clutched me loosely in a particular fragrance that I never had sniffed before. At that very moment, a mystic energy rushed into me and jolted the calmness inside me as if it was a jitter of sea currents flowing in my veins. Breaking that silence and the despair inside me, a couple of angry waves ran over nearby rugged blue rocks and crackled with dying moans. I felt as if the air exulted from the power manifesting itself through the fury of the sun, wind and sea. For a moment it felt a bit sinister, this growing field of energy around me; but no, it was a power I was feeling, the power of Being, of Nature.

Later in the night and days that followed, I was introduced to hallmarks of Pacific traditional dances and songs. Both dancing and singing seemed to have evolved from the purely aural inspiration of natural environment and sounds around them: the pounding of waves, the wind rustling the trees, the roll of thunder, and the rhythm of rain. Abound with such intimacy of nature, it is very natural for one to express emotions in terms of Nature.

A part of that nature perhaps clasped my soul – that I felt an amazing energy invoked inside me and I could feel the power of elegance that softened even my bones. I am so proud that till this date I have preserved, deep in me, the wonders and power of Nature. It’s so wonderful to live with that wilderness, rustic mystery and freedom of thoughts burrowed from Nature!

A PLEASANT REVERIE ….

A powerful physical frame, a pulchritudinous face and masculine attitude – the trinity that reflects his persona and that captures your attention at the very first glance. As he walks in with his illuminating powerful gait, you swoon unknowingly and unintentionally. He paves his way into the crowd - polite and eager to chat. Heads turn around and eyes penetrate him as he puts his sanguinity at display. He looks like no any bravado, aggressive, dominant or charming, yet in no time he begins to cast the spell of his style and mannerism.  

At a couple of yard’s distance from him, my lips measure each sip from my glass and I peacefully indulge in a circle of gossip. But, my anxiety grows immensely as his baritone voice spans out; I can hear every crisp of syllables he utters. With an uneasy indifference and a disguised nonchalance, I wait for an opportunity to reclaim his attention. While the background music plays on with the same agreeable accompaniment, my longing continues to glide on almost like an obsession.

I am not less proud - clad in my regal saree which glitters from the shines of jewellery on my vibrant silk flesh. I am settled into an unhurried posture but my hands constantly try taming the spread of rich folds of saree and pallu that encircles my shoulders.

Even amidst the discordant notes of the people that surround me, I feel like our chords are striking exactly the same note in the quiet harmony of the night. As if I summoned and he heard, our eyes meet at a yard’s distance; I involuntarily cover my face with a slow pink flush and can sense his eyes filled with a genuine inquisitiveness.

No sooner we realise that one yard distance has melted in a second and the next moment I find his dusky eyes glowing mysteriously on my puzzled face. I am driven by the helpless perplexity of my own volition and I only stretch my lips to a gleaming smile – my eyes slightly crinkled but sharply alert!

We trace each other through conversations that soon bind us together into the sphere of jest and laughter. For me, all that long ennui disappears turning me more voluble as he listens and gazes into the lights of my eyes. He compliments my admiration for him with the keenest interest and a matching attention that he does not withdraw for even for a moment!  

Write Your Life’s New Chapter: Plan for Financial Independence

Women are well known for playing multiple roles: maintaining home, raising kids, and supporting husbands and families. Then there are emerging realities of more and more women joining the work force and being part of the “economic growth story”. There is little doubt that balancing these many roles and responsibilities is no simple matter.

Multiple life roles teaches women two important life skills: knowing the importance of time management and how to deal with people. Although women may not experience the same levels of freedom as men, these life skills have helped them transcend social, personal and societal barriers to join corporate work forces. Successful woman she becomes; yet, there are conflicting family, societal and professional expectations that constantly want her to be submissive and reticent. And, they continue to question her performance every time. It’s not all easy to become a successful woman!

In the same family and workplace but women face life situations different than men. Relocation after marriage, childbirth, divorce, loss of spouse – all have implications on women’s wealth creation locomotive. These compounded with low earning capability, forced career breaks and longer lifespan than men makes women financially insecure. I have seen women who, after the death of spouse, were ousted from home penniless or those who sought refuge in women shelters and at relatives’ or those who continued to stay at the hands of children’s insults.

Ladies, you need to plan your finances NOW for a better future you deserve.

The first thing about women’s finances is that many at least have a “saving account”. You can, however, go beyond to better manage your finances. Time is ripe with the proliferation of financial products and opportunities for making prudent investments. The mercury of your financial literacy matters the most. How you raise the mercury level is through information from internet and advice from friends, colleagues and relatives. Get yourself interested in and gather knowledge on rewards and risks of financial investments, for example, insurance products, fixed deposits, mutual funds, stock markets, banking, real estate, gold. Get yourself involved and engaged in your family’s financial decision-making. Finally, take charge of your own finances – be independent and lead the way!!

Getting aware of the need for financial planning is important because you have embarked on a journey to gain financial self-reliance. PLAN FOR FUTURE. I put Robert Frost here:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.  

 PS: Thoughts inspired by Money Outlook.

English is a funny language - many a time!!

Sitting in my swivel chair with hotwater bag and surfing the net - tweeting, reading online news and at google library - all have become a kind of weekend ritual for me.

Have anyone of you looked through Google Books (http://books.google.com/)? It's not that great collection of books but some are worth reading when you have time and mood. I am reading some at the moment. In the Humor category, there is this book on "Crazy English" by Richard Lederer.

English is the most widely spoken language; 50% of the world's books are written in English; 70% of mails are written in English; over 80% of computer texts, including all websites are stored in English; and, English has acquired the largest vocabulary than any other languages, perhaps as many as two million words. Yet, English language is crazy - the most loopy and wiggy of all tongues. That's what the book says. It gives a hilarious account of English language as it is.

Some examples: Why your nose runs and your feet smell? Why do we call it newsprint when it contains no printing but when we put print on it, we call it a newspaper? If they wrote a letter, perhaps they also bote their tongue. If we conceive a conception and receive a reception, why can we grieve a greption and believe a beleption? Why is it called a TV set when we get only one? If pro and con are opposites, is congress the opposite of progress? If the plural of tooth is teeth, should not the plural of booth be beeth?

My trial on blog seems to be working, Wow! Friends, till another one, Chao!

Open up space for my freedom to flourish!

Angry, bitter, enraged, infuriated – these describe less of my expressions and feelings of the moment when I heard about Delhi rape case; and Shiwa, Bindu and other atrocious crimes against women in the news. For want of more news and information and in utter desperation, all that week I twiddled frantically at my TV remote buttons. Whatever I heard or saw, it only created a rampage inside me!

I embraced my inner self to ask if there was anything wrong in being a woman. Only one voice resonated loud and clear through me – I am so proud being a woman. I am smart, respectful, hopeful, inspirational, and you name it that constitutes a proud woman! Being a woman that I am, in fact, has been an amazing adventure. It’s such a beautiful experience, such a beautiful feeling, why would ‘you’ commit such heinous crimes?

Is it my body or is it in your mind? Ten years back when I was researching on gender issues, I read the Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir wherein she raised the core question of female embodiment: Are the supposed disadvantages of the female body actual disadvantages which exist objectively in all societies, or are they merely judged to be disadvantages by our society?What de Beauvoir suggests it’s not a woman’s physical stature or appearance, rather it is mind and perception of the society we live in that constructs an oppressive environment for a woman. I feel nice about being a woman but it’s just not a matter of my free choice unless the society gives space for my freedom.

Angry I am. But, I am also introspecting – this is the time to recollect all magnitudes of my feelings and turn that into hope and determination. Be it in the name of Shiwa, Bindu or Saraswati, I want to rise and revolt against injustice. Within me speaks parts of Shiwa, Bindu or Saraswati, calling me to unleash the brutality that every woman faces in our societies. That’s one reason I am with the force of “Occupy Baluwatar”. My twitter feed often times explodes with messages of support and encouragement for “Occupy Baluwatar”. I hope politicians will rise above their political base and take up “women’s issue” as an issue of supreme national importance. If government fails to action justice on #occupybaluwatar cases, history will book its leaders/politicians as ones with failed conscience.

Dear leaders, politicians, lawmakers: if you cannot open up a space for my freedom to flourish; beware, we women will lead your way – at whatever cost it may be!!

A New Beginning for me - Blogging!

Nothing is too late!!

From today I am starting to blog in the hope that it will reflect the way I lived a day, that captures my imagination of life and boosts my passion for writing. I surely go by what Eliza Gilbert, the author of international bestseller Eat Pray and Love, says “I believe that, if you have a talent (or even if you think you do, or maybe even if you just hope you do), that you should treat that talent with the highest reverence and love. Don’t flip out, and murder your gift through narcissism, insecurity, addiction, competitiveness, ambition or mediocrity. Just get busy, serious, get down to it, and write something for heaven’s sake”. I am doing just the same. I might not have that great way of expression or vocabulary elegance, but I promise I will give it a try. Somebody put it sarcastically that “blogging is learning to say nothing, more cleverly every day”. But I think it is an art of writing, an art of expressing yourself and a means of communicating with people who have contributed into making you as you stand as “YOU” today.

Nevertheless whatever encouragement I give to myself, I still feel I need more guts and confidence to share my thoughts with everyone on my list of friends, colleagues and families. As human tendency goes, normally we all long to be valued and appreciated by others. But there is another side to it too. If our encouragement hinges on others, we might end up being needlessly discouraged ourselves. A way out of it I thought, therefore, is to start sharing my blog independent of inhibitions or fear of being judged. I am sure of my relationship with each of you that it does not really matter to me what you think of me when you read me! I want to write with complete freedom. It’s well said “the secret of freedom is courage” and courage of course is the power that generates all other powers!

In some ways, I draw inspiration to blog from famous blogger like Amitabh Bachchan whose writing style and enduring communication with his fans, friends and family comes uninterrupted and so regularly. So, I am fascinated by the idea of blogging but I am also intrigued by the thought to keep continuing with the same energy that I have at the moment.