I MISS THE FIRE IN MY BELLY

“I am not a woman prime minister. I am a prime minister”. Indira Gandhi

There is a saying that “if you cannot find it on google, it does not exist”. Now you check your search engine for “Asian women leaders quotes” and if you get one headline result, get back to me please! With this pretext, I researched on women’s leadership in Asia and I must say I am so disappointed at the moment, more so when I look at the situation in my own country!

More women have reached the pinnacle of power in Asia in recent years than in any other part of the world. If you look at the record, Sirimao Bandaranaike of Sri Lanka became the world’s first female elected head of state in 1960, has been followed by female leaders in India, Pakistan, Indonesia, Bangladesh, Thailand, Myanmar and the Philippines. The other side of this record is that almost every one of them has actually risen to power through a family connection. They are all the daughters, wives, or widows of former government heads or leading oppositionists. But, what’s wrong with this?

Female leaders and family connections

The rise of female leaders does not seem to reflect any change in the patriarchal nature of Asian societies. It has only helped to demonstrate the power of a name and the persistence of political dynasties. Megawati Sukarnoputri, the daughter of the founder of Indonesia, Sukarno, during a mass campaign once asked, “So what’s wrong with being a housewife?” The number of women leaders who have attained top political positions in their own merit is so low. It also reflects on the rarity of policies in Asian countries that favour the equality of women and that liberate women from traditional roles in households.

Not to blame the system but we also need to see the character of our politics, which has come to political maturity following the examples of dynasties. Where is the figure who will change the way we do politics? Will we get more Modi in our politics who paved in way for seven prominent women leaders in India’s high cabinet ranks? Twenty five percent women in Indian Cabinet is perhaps the first in the history of Indian Government. Notably except for one minister, all six women made to top political power on their own caliber, without having to depend on family connections!

The other day I was so proud see Sushma Swaraj, India’s External Affairs minister in Nepal, who stood out amongst male politicians, wearing a smile and emanating the woman power alongside the state power she was entrusted with. I did not see a single woman leader on Nepal side at any occasion!

Token women leaders
I know that most of us are in business to help and empower other women and to make a difference. But I believe that now it’s time for us to step into our power and make the changes we want to see in the political arena. We should stop pledging our refuge in the cosy and secured space of party politics - the space which is controlled by male politicians who love to maintain women’s “tokenism”! 

It also looks as if we will need to skip a generation before someone arrives with the guts to carry out the necessary revolution. We may not yet have even heard the name of the next great women leaders in this political arena of Nepal. But I am hopeful, some women will surely emerge from the large untapped reservoir of empowered women. And, to state the least, I feel some fire in my belly! Shall we challenge our heroes and go out looking for our she-roes now?

Follow me on twitter @sobst

WEARING AN ATTITUDE OF GLAMOUR

Glamour is an attitude; it’s the expression of a certain kind of confidence
It’s about possessing an air of mystery and excitement

For me glamour is a sense of understanding, a freedom to emanate your charm and elegance; I consider it beyond the notion of luxury and high fashion of Bollywood or Hollywood – it is not merely an aesthetic signal! It is a form of communication to incite respect for and around your aura and to challenge the boundary that our culture and society often dictates on freedom of expression. It is therefore a form of non-verbal rhetoric that persuades others to notice you not through words but through images, concepts and totems.

Most times you deliberately craft glamour by ignoring your discordant elements while heightening appealing characteristics. In that sense, glamour is just about the right coupling of your performance and the perception of others. By binding such performance and perception, glamour gives us pleasure, even may heighten one’s yearning. However, there’s a fine line to it – the moment you de-couple performance and perception, you either create ‘vulgarity’ or ‘luxury fashion’.  

Glamour is a SPELL and a GRAMMAR

Glamour could be in your lipstick; a sari or gown draped around your body; a thin strand of hair that a gust of air moves in & out of your face; an artful pause when you speak; or, a romance and distance between you and your audience! You do have to get it right in order to be seen as glamorous as opposed to pretty, polished, vulgar or chic. You don’t stumble into glamour; you create it, even if you don’t realize that’s what you are doing! That’s why it’s important to learn and understand the art of glamour.

- drinking champaign in the night is glamorous but the hangover next day is not;

- high heels are glamorous but the bleeding and blistering feet are not;

- walking on red carpet is glamorous but displaying nudity is not;

- speaking your mind is glamorous but uttering stupidity is not;

 

But, if you indulge too much on consciously creating a glamourous you, you might just end up working on your illusions better and instead deceit yourself with false glitters of glamour. And, that is what will become the ‘dark side of glamour’. You will increasingly try to communicate to others who you are not – in a bid to grab people’s attention towards you. It is then when you tend to move away from your own reality, your own freedom; and, that is dangerous for your persona and for your confidence!

MY JOURNEY TO ‘MAMAGHAR’ IN KATHMANDU

My admiration for a sweet new blossom of humanity….

This autobiography of my nephew, Arjun, who is just two and half months today.  

25 November 2013

I was very excited when I heard my mom and dad plan for the trip to my mamaghar in Kathmandu. Now to term it as mere ‘excitement’ is a little understatement because I didn’t sleep that whole night. I slept around 4 in the morning but after a couple of hours my mom woke me up – it was probably an early morning flight to Kathmandu and we had to leave home by 6am. On our way to the airport, I could see my mom’s sleep-deprived sore eyes. But, my sweet mom as ever cuddled and adored me and her eyes were beaming from certain unrestrained joy – giving me the feeling that she forgot she had not slept that night.

Then, started my first and long ride in an aeroplane. The moment I entered the plane, my eyeballs grew wider in anticipation of what the inside of an aircraft looked like. For the first half an hour, I indulged in my excitement of seeing altogether a different space with so many people in it but then I could not keep it at the same level any longer. The next moment, my mom and dad cramped themselves into their seats and I was confined to my mom’s lap. All through the flight duration, she tired best to deal with my changing moods and whims and with frequent trips to baby’s room to feed me.  

 

Finally, we landed in Kathmandu airport but I was still not sure that we had flown over nearly 1062 miles. I wondered how my mom and dad melted that vast distance with their bonding and in doing so they cemented two different families and cultures. At the airport, we were received by my grandparents and Thulo Buwa. A strange emotion covered my mom’s face and when she looked at me to introduce to my grandparents, I told her in silence that  “each brush of breeze that touched my skin at that moment were telling me I belonged to Kathmandu as much as it belonged to you mom”. I looked at my dad at that very moment to see a big smile shine on his face and a prideful gesture of coming back to a place which he had begun to love so much!

SIX YARDS SAREE– AN ENCHILADA OF WONDER, APPEAL AND GLAMOUR

             'Saree'

              the poise and grace of a woman,

              a six yards wonder to add to elegance, feminity and sensuality 

              the most beautiful attire, a timeless fashion!

For me saree is an exquisite piece of magic that flatters a woman’s look and makes her feel glamorous. Time and again you may flirt with other eastern and western garments but a saree’s ability to play off feminity with mystery and elegance cannot be compared to any other garments. Drape any woman in a saree and you change her persona. One may not have a body for a gown or a trouser, but I think every woman looks most elegant in a saree. It completely adapts to your body form and reflects your individuality. A saree exudes distinct elegance and charm complimenting every woman that adorns it. It is stylish and sexy and in fact could become the best tease for your body – covering just the right amount of flesh and leaving rest to one’s imagination.

Saree has always been my all-time fashionista favourite – I regularly wear it to workplace, parties and festive occasions. The more comfortably I drape saree around me, the more I get enticed by the grace, elegance and feminity it casts on me. Often times I feel I could have been born in a saree – I am most comfortable in this one-piece unzipped and unstitched garment and I can carry it off calmly all through the day. The reflection of grace and poise apart, I feel saree also subliminally announces my calmness and self-control.

Lucknowi Chicken, Batik prints and Kerala Kausuvo

South India raw silks and Nepali Dhaka prints

 

Kanjeevaram and printed Tussar silks

Sarees adorn my wardrobes like no other apparels. My wardrobe is a showcase of weaves and textile heritage collected from across India (see pictures above). I have also treasured a few handloom Nepali Dhaka sarees from Palpa and Terhathum but I am yet to collect a piece of Haku Patasi. I feel like I am on a personal fashion mission to collect sarees simply for the love of varied textures, fine weaves, striking hues and intricate motifs. I have only begun and it has already been a fascinating exercise! My favourite picks mostly consist of cotton and Pattu (silk) sarees. I am often times intrigued and fascinated by the versatility of textures and colour combination a saree offers – this reason why my wardrobe boasts of varieties of sarees you could imagine! My collection comprises of crisp cotton sarees, flowing chiffons and georgettes, zari synthetics and silk sarees.

I am also a conscious style purist and like collecting traditional heritage textiles and fabrics that represent different regions of India. My major selections come from West Bengal, South India (Tamil Nadu and Karnataka), Rajasthan and Kerala. When talking about patterns, my all-time favourite cotton sarees are Jamdani and Dhaka geometric thread-work pattern from Bengal and on silks, I guess nothing can ever beat gold-bordered Kanjeevaram, vibrant-colored Mysore printed silk and see-through Chanderi silk sarees. Lucknowi chicken and jagged temple patterns from Orrissa are lovely too!

If this post has aroused much of your interest in sarees, I now leave it to you to explore more – about fabrics, textures, weaves and patterns, colors and draping styles!

“KUNDALINI” - THE SNAKE INSIDE YOU

"Without the inner world the outer loses its meaning, and without the outer the inner loses its substance."   R.D. Laing

 

Today – the day of Nag Panchami, we worship snakes. Serpents and snakes are expressions of good and evil that we find in our history, religion and culture. As snakes shed their skin through sloughing, they are symbols of rebirth, transformation, immortality, and healing. Their venom, on contrary, is connected with poison vengefulness and vindictiveness. These expressions and the galore of Nag or male serpents apart, have you heard of the power of female serpents – the Kundalini?

 

Mythology explains Kundalini as a serpent goddess who lies asleep and dormant at the base of the spine. Her name is Kundalini Shakti, and she represents the unfolding of the divine energy, the energising potential of life itself, a living goddess who enlivens all things.

 

“Awakening Kundalini” is often described in Yoga and Meditation as an energy releasing process that triggers the natural power to free oneself from personal conditioning. It is a clearing process that is designed to enable an open, clear and compassionate perspective of life and death, and to feel the essential bliss and connectedness of all things. It helps one to release self-judgment, which is an important prerequisite to know who or what you really are. It is not about becoming saintly but about becoming present, relaxed and in tune with the earth and the natural potential of living in harmony with ourselves and others.

 

What is the purpose of Kundalini?

The capacity for "choice" is what life is all about. Depending on how one navigates the awakening, this determines whether the ultimate outcome is more creative or destructive. Usually it's a mixture of both for the birth of the new requires the death of the old. It’s just like you are clearing out your stuffed house, cleaning it all creating a new inside of it!

 

Our true nature has no judgment and no resistance to life. Waking up is not an abandonment of life as it is, but an expansion, so that consciousness sees the inner-connectedness, the oneness, underneath all the diversity of expression in the world. Without judgment there is still a responsiveness, a deep feeling can move through related to compassion for the suffering in the human condition, and action can emerge spontaneously, the form having great variations among different people. Great laughter and joy can arise in seeing clearing how we have missed the truth for so many years, and ignored the clear evidence of our own eternal consciousness. Even in the joy we can still feel strong compassion for the confusion that all humanity shares.

RENDEZVOUS WITH NATURE

I was standing right at the edge of an expansive Pacific beach that embraced me with its tendril creamy waves but far to its other end the same wave appeared like coughing out, in a rhythm, lumps of white gunpowder over its own udder. I stretched arms and cuddled my own body and sat down on the surface of glistening rough sand. I began devouring a majestic sight in front of me – a sight that was always in my dreams and imagination. The close-up horizon displayed a spectacular scene of earth, sea and sky and it was all so overwhelming in sight, smell, and sound.

 

As the scorching sun tossed billows of brackish sea waters and the gusty wind churned rolling waves, the surrounding got more nostalgic and it clutched me loosely in a particular fragrance that I never had sniffed before. At that very moment, a mystic energy rushed into me and jolted the calmness inside me as if it was a jitter of sea currents flowing in my veins. Breaking that silence and the despair inside me, a couple of angry waves ran over nearby rugged blue rocks and crackled with dying moans. I felt as if the air exulted from the power manifesting itself through the fury of the sun, wind and sea. For a moment it felt a bit sinister, this growing field of energy around me; but no, it was a power I was feeling, the power of Being, of Nature.

Later in the night and days that followed, I was introduced to hallmarks of Pacific traditional dances and songs. Both dancing and singing seemed to have evolved from the purely aural inspiration of natural environment and sounds around them: the pounding of waves, the wind rustling the trees, the roll of thunder, and the rhythm of rain. Abound with such intimacy of nature, it is very natural for one to express emotions in terms of Nature.

A part of that nature perhaps clasped my soul – that I felt an amazing energy invoked inside me and I could feel the power of elegance that softened even my bones. I am so proud that till this date I have preserved, deep in me, the wonders and power of Nature. It’s so wonderful to live with that wilderness, rustic mystery and freedom of thoughts burrowed from Nature!

A PLEASANT REVERIE ….

A powerful physical frame, a pulchritudinous face and masculine attitude – the trinity that reflects his persona and that captures your attention at the very first glance. As he walks in with his illuminating powerful gait, you swoon unknowingly and unintentionally. He paves his way into the crowd - polite and eager to chat. Heads turn around and eyes penetrate him as he puts his sanguinity at display. He looks like no any bravado, aggressive, dominant or charming, yet in no time he begins to cast the spell of his style and mannerism.  

At a couple of yard’s distance from him, my lips measure each sip from my glass and I peacefully indulge in a circle of gossip. But, my anxiety grows immensely as his baritone voice spans out; I can hear every crisp of syllables he utters. With an uneasy indifference and a disguised nonchalance, I wait for an opportunity to reclaim his attention. While the background music plays on with the same agreeable accompaniment, my longing continues to glide on almost like an obsession.

I am not less proud - clad in my regal saree which glitters from the shines of jewellery on my vibrant silk flesh. I am settled into an unhurried posture but my hands constantly try taming the spread of rich folds of saree and pallu that encircles my shoulders.

Even amidst the discordant notes of the people that surround me, I feel like our chords are striking exactly the same note in the quiet harmony of the night. As if I summoned and he heard, our eyes meet at a yard’s distance; I involuntarily cover my face with a slow pink flush and can sense his eyes filled with a genuine inquisitiveness.

No sooner we realise that one yard distance has melted in a second and the next moment I find his dusky eyes glowing mysteriously on my puzzled face. I am driven by the helpless perplexity of my own volition and I only stretch my lips to a gleaming smile – my eyes slightly crinkled but sharply alert!

We trace each other through conversations that soon bind us together into the sphere of jest and laughter. For me, all that long ennui disappears turning me more voluble as he listens and gazes into the lights of my eyes. He compliments my admiration for him with the keenest interest and a matching attention that he does not withdraw for even for a moment!